years ago i used to work for a couple who came to the u.s. from china and owned a restaurant, and a few years after that i worked for a family that came here from south korea and owned a hibachi and sushi bar (yeah, we joked a lot about how everyone assumed the hibachi chefs were japanese). i adored working for all of these people and what i noticed while working in their respective restaurants is how they asked their customers to "sit together, make friends."
i heard "sit together, make friends" often because white people would come into the restaurant and expect to have a private table or booth when all we had were large tables that required people to dine with complete strangers. you could see the discomfort on people's faces when they were told this. however, i would regularly see these same people make friends with people at their table. they would end up buying each other drinks, sharing stories about their children, getting drunk off saki together, exchanging cards and numbers, and telling each other jokes.
recently i went to a restaurant owned by a family from china and noticed that all of the diners had opted for the booths that lined the restaurant rather than the large, open tables in the center. it was rather pathetic looking, really. i found myself wishing that the booths didn't exist so people would be forced to "sit together, make friends."
even though we all crave and need personal connections, there are so many things about american society and culture that prevent us from making new, personal connections with people. we need a push in this respect.
my mom recently said to me, "i don't get how you can move to a new city and meet so many people so quickly." i told her it's because i'm her daughter (my mom is incredibly friendly and chatty), but after thinking about it i also think i'm able to meet new people because i don't think that sitting in a private booth is the best option.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
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4 comments:
you will soon grow weary of me quoting ani, but this lyric popped into my head, "why don't we put a wall up between the houses and the highway, and you can go your way, and i can go my way."
i love this post. we should sit together and make friends. and "we" would, if "we" weren't so deathly afraid of EVERYTHING in this culture. :( those strangers at the table might follow us home and kill us, ya know. sad sad sad.
I agree with supergirlest, this is a great post. If the media didn't pound that deathly fear into us all, maybe more would want to sit together, make friends.
Psychologically, humans need about 2 feet of personal space. some cultures are used to not having this "personal space". when you spend all day in a city, fighting crowds on public transporation, in the shopping centers, on the sidewalks, et cetera, it makes sense that you would want some space when you sit down to a quiet, relaxing meal. i often feel this way...
but it's mostly because i can't stand the sound of other people eating.
but it's true with a lot of asian cultures - mealtime is more than just eating; it's a gathering - an experience. you share your dishes and pour each other's saki and converse and eat for hours! it's quite an event.
think about america and how we are THE fast-food nation...get in, get out! eat up, move on!
i love eating with tons of people, but sometimes, i don't want to sit next to the morbidly-obese jerk sucking the marrow out of some poor dead chicken's legs, you know?
Gawd yes, this is why I love Vegan Potlucks!
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